http://submarinewivesclub.org/ The Submarine Wives Club en-us Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:41:49 GMT 1440 CPG-Nuke Dragonfly The Submarine Wives Club News http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/rss/rss.html http://submarinewivesclub.org/images/logo.gif http://submarinewivesclub.org/ http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=26 If you're looking for direction and guidance to help navigate your way through the sometimes-rough seas of Navy life, look no further. Straight ahead is COMPASS. COMPASS is developed by military spouses to educate and orientate new spouses to this wonderful family they have joined, The United States Navy. As a military spouse, you need a network and a place to learn about the new life you've entered. Plus, you need to develop realistic expectations. The best teacher is experience, and you will find that COMPASS mentors are not short on that. Rosemary Ellis, project director and one of the developers of COMPASS, explains that a graduate of the new program comes away with a better understanding of the life his or her spouse has chosen. "Education and understanding life in the military help to better prepare you to meet the challenges that will undoubtedly come — challenges that at times may seem overwhelming," she says. "COMPASS can give you the direction you need to take care of yourself and your family." Exploring Your Challenges COMPASS explores some of those challenges — for instance, classes on deployments help you prepare, understand, and share the various aspects of separations caused by your Sailors service in the Navy. Permanent change of station (PCS) moves can be stressful and challenging. COMPASS can dispel some of the fear of moving across the country or across the world. Tips for making the transition smoother are little gems to be picked up while learning how not to go insane when your household goods show up three months after you have arrived overseas. Another of big stumbling block that military families face can be money. Learning how to read a leave and earning statement (LES) and how to budget your money can prevent you from falling overboard. Knowing what "government indebtedness" means to you could be a life preserver when the financial seas become stormy. Raising your financial awareness can help you avoid getting caught short or receiving a "No Pay Due." Learning how to balance your needs and those of your family and your marriage while living with the Navy is information you don't want to miss out on. Life in general brings on conflict, and life in the Navy is no exception. Managing conflict is a great skill to learn, no matter where you see you and your family in 10 years. It may seem easier to just withdraw into your home and not explore the community outside your front door. COMPASS addresses the danger of being isolated and shows you how to reach out to find friends, fulfillment, and support. Tradition has always been an important part of Navy life. COMPASS introduces you to some of those Navy traditions. Understanding the history behind some of the Naval traditions will help you develop respect for the new world you live in. You may even learn something you can take home and impress your Sailor with. From COMPASS: Let it Show You the Way by Kelli Kirwan for LIFELines Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:41:49 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=25 Differences of opinion are a natural part of living with someone else. Even if you and your spouse have a very strong and loving relationship, you won't agree on every issue and may sometimes have major blowups. What's important is how you resolve these conflicts. Knowing how to fight fairly and resolve your differences in a respectful way is vital to the success of most relationships. Whether you disagree over one or two big issues or a lot of smaller ones, it's important to try to avoid saying things that could hurt somebody you love. Fighting fairly involves paying attention to several different things at once: your words, your tone of voice, your body language, and your instincts about someone else's mood and whether or not it's a good time to argue. Here are some general tips: • Be truthful but kind. Choose words that express your concerns directly and honestly but won't leave lasting wounds. Remember that being kind includes listening carefully to your spouse and making an effort not to interrupt. • Watch your tone of voice. Try to keep your tone calm and to speak as respectfully as you can. A loud or shrill voice can inflame an argument even if your message is relatively gentle. • Pay attention to your body language. Avoid gestures such as pointing or finger-wagging that can make you look as though you're scolding instead of expressing an opinion. • Don't argue or bring up emotionally charged subjects if one of you has had too much to drink or has been using drugs. • Avoid fighting when you're exhausted or hungry. • Screen out distractions such as the television, radio, and telephone. Interrupting an argument for a nonessential conversation may send the message that you don't take the subject seriously. • Have big arguments out of earshot of children. • Consider having certain discussions outside your home. This can be an especially good idea if your home makes it hard to screen out distractions or if you can't be sure that children won't overhear you there. Arguments can get out of hand quickly if you don't think carefully about your words. Some ways to keep things under control include: • Focus on the issue you need to resolve, not on your personalities or your history. • Deal with one issue at a time. • Try not to say things that you know will hurt your spouse • Make "I" statements that express your feelings instead of "you" statements that assign blame. Avoiding giving advice unless your spouse specifically requests it. • Acknowledge each other's feelings. • Consider using a timer to limit the time you spend on a topic. • Brainstorm if you get stuck. Write down as many possible solutions as you can -- without making judgments about any of them -- and then narrow them down to two or three that both of you would be willing to try. • Apologize if you were wrong. • After you've had an argument, consider setting aside time to talk about what happened. • If you still can't resolve an issue, ask yourselves if you need to resolve it. Sometimes the best way to end an argument is simply to agree to disagree. You might want to take a few other steps if you keep having arguments or the same argument over and over again. • Decide to work on your problems. This means identifying problems, no matter how big or small, and recognizing that solving them will require time and effort. • Attend an Anger Management class. Offered free of charge at most military installation Family Support Centers, Anger Management classes are designed to help service members and their families identify anger triggers, provide alternative responses, and ultimately prevent anger from escalating to violence. • Declare a moratorium. At times your feelings about an issue may get so overheated that you can't begin to resolve the matter until both of you cool off. • Learn to forgive. People make mistakes. Sometimes a simple, sincere apology and a lot of forgiveness can move a relationship beyond a particularly stressful time. • Finally, keep in mind that not everything is worth arguing about, so it's a good idea to choose your battles. Article excerpts from: http://www.militaryonesource.com Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:41:02 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=24 10 Tips For Handling Stress By Patt Saso, LMFCC Resources On Stress Seek solutions. Recognize that stress is a part of life. Seek solutions rather than blame. Realize that the named stress is not always the actual stress. Develop conflict-resolution skills and creative coping strategies. Breathe and relax. Stress causes us to breathe shallowly from the chest, compounding fatigue and tension. Practice breathing deeply from your abdomen and visualize your body tension being released as you exhale completely. Learn from accredited teachers or psychotherapists other drug-free methods of relaxing like progressive relaxation, visualization or stretching. Talk. It is healthy to share your bottled up concerns and worries with a significant other, friend, clergy or psychotherapist. It is important to get a different perspective. Knowing when to get professional help will avoid serious problems later. Challenge your thinking. Stress, in part, is due to our perception of the problem. Often distorted thinking affects your feelings and behavior. Challenge your belief system to reduce your stress. Make a choice. When stress is present, make a choice about how you will handle your tension. Stresses are a normal part of life. Plan ahead of time what you will do to reduce the stress. Find effective ways to control stress and search for solutions rather than blame. Plan. Get organized. Disorganizations breeds stress. Write down your tasks, then prioritize them. Check off your tasks when completed. Reward yourself often. Play. Escape the pressures of life by losing yourself in play. Have fun. Laugh. Release endorphins. Get your body moving...walk, play tennis, work in the garden. Physical activity is crucial for mental and physical health. Endorphins are our body's natural way of letting us feel good. Check with your doctor before beginning an exercise program. Recognize your limits. Set reasonable and achievable goals for yourself. Remember no one is perfect. Accept the problems you cannot change. Create a postive environment. Clear clutter from your home and/or workplace. This will give you an opportunity to order and clear your mind. Become an optimistic and postive person. Affirm yourself and others. Place positive and hopeful slogans around you. These messages send powerful messages to your unconscious mind. ** This information obtained from the Pre-Deployment Information For Couples guide from FSC Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:26:06 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=23 The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society (NMCRS) is a private, nonprofit organization that is funded entirely by donations. Offices are staffed by volunteers who assist active and retired service members, their families and survivors. The NMCRS can provide interest-free loans, grants or combinations for: * emergency transportation *funerals *medical/dental bills (patient's share) *food, rent and utilities *help when disaster strikes *personal needs when pay is delayed *essential vehicle repairs The NMCRS cannot: *help with conveniences *pay bills for non essentials *finance liberty and vacations *pay fines and other legal expenses The NMCRS can help you in time of need, but cannot help you to live beyond your means. In addition, the NMCRS sponsors student loans and gives scholarships to chhildren of active duty and retired Navy/Marine Corps personnel and spouses of active duty sailors and marines, and can provide educational financial assistance to spouses of active duty service members in most overseas areas and to children of deceased service members. The NMCRS also offers a visiting nurse program, budget and financial counseling in some locations, layettes for newborns whose parents are in the first five enlisted pay grades and information and referral services concerning dependents' benefits, allowances, pensions, Government insurance and community resources. NMCRS volunteers listen and try to match member and family needs with the appropriate support agency. The NMCRS also sponsors thrift shops that sell used goods at a low cost. Vokunteers are needed to help provide every service of the NMCRSS. NMCRS offices are located at most major installantions or you can contact the Headquarters office. **Information obtained from Sea Legs For the Navy Family. Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:17:39 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=22 Perhaps the most well-known assistance organization is the American Red Cross. Its worldwide communications network is available 24 hours a day and can place emergency messages to or from Navy and Marine Corps service members and their families. When regular communications break down, the Red Cross can also report on the welfare of individuals. The Red Cross also provides emergency financial assisatance, and information and referral services, and provides safety, life style, and health courses such as the popular CPR course. When a Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society (NMCRS) office in not available, the Red Cross may advance funds on its behalf. In addition, the Red Cross collects, processes, distributes, and ensures a safe blood supply. Contact the Red Cross at its local chapter listed in your phone directory for more information. **Information obtained from Sea Legs for the Navy Family. SENDING AN AMERICAN RED CROSS (AFES) MESSAGE American Red Cross messages are used to inform our Sailors while at sea about FAMILY MEDICAL EMERGENCIES at home. These are one-way messages, only. A response from the Sailor is, unfortunately, not usually possible in the submarine force. If you need to get word of this type of emergency to your Sailor at sea, you should make two calls. One to the Red Cross and one to your Ombudsman; not so she can be nosey, but so she will be able to stay on top of things at the local Navy level for you. Emergency communications are no longer handled through the local branch of the American Red Cross—they are processed nationally through the toll-free number, shown below. If you are a local family member of our crew, use that toll free number 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you are an extended family member (parent, sibling...) living out of the local home port area, you’ll contact your local Red Cross Office instead. Please remember to contact your Ombudsman no matter where you live. If you are unsure of the best way your information should be sent, call your Ombudsman first to talk it through. RED CROSS EMERGENCY TOLL FREE NUMBER: 1-877-272-7337 The more information you can give them the better. Be prepared to tell them: the Sailor’s name, rate, social security number, and duty station, the Patient’s name and reason for his/her hospitalization, or date and cause of death, the Doctor’s name & phone number, the name and location of the hospital or funeral home, and in case of a birth, lots of statistics (name, date and time of birth, weight, length, hair color. . . . Photos may not be sent. These are radio messages.). MESSAGES FALL INTO TWO CATEGORIES: NOTIFICATION: These are used for telling your sailor about a serious illness, hospitalization, birth, or death of a close family member. They’re not able to send messages about cousins and other extended family members. NOTIFICATION AND PRESENCE: Used to tell him the news described above and to ask the Navy bring him home. (Asking for a humevac). Presence must be justified to be granted. Getting a sailor off of the submarine is dangerous, and the decision to do so is not made lightly. Presence is only granted most often, but not always, for the death of a spouse, child, parent or sibling. The death of an uncle, aunt, or grandparent does not meet humevac criteria unless they were the person who raised the Sailor (“in loco parentis”). Unfortunately, the line had to be drawn somewhere. Remember, if you want to request presence, you can. However, that request does not guarantee a humevac. EACH CASE IS TAKEN INDIVIDUALLY. Many factors are looked at, including the wishes of your Sailor, before a decision is made. If the Navy decides to implement a humevac, they will do whatever they can to get him home safely. If you have questions or concerns, again, your point of contact is your Ombudsman. The AFES service is staffed by volunteers. In other words, they, living in the Midwest, may not understand how subs differ from surface ships or land based military forces. They may not realize our Sailors can’t pick up a phone and call home. If they tell you to expect a call from your Sailor within 24 hours, please remember that is generally not possible unless they are in port. ~ Jill Schultz, 2003 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:15:57 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=21 Secrecy of disappearance compounded families' pain By ED OFFLEY SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER MILITARY REPORTER Even now they vividly remember that stormy day their lives were forever torn apart. High winds and sheets of rain lashed the Hampton Roads area that Monday morning on May 27, 1968. Several dozen wives and families of the USS Scorpion crew gathered at Pier 22 at the Norfolk, Va., Naval Station, awaited the sight of the submarine returning from a three-month deployment to the Mediterranean. Barbara Foli Lake was one of of the Scorpion wives who braved the weather on that Memorial Day to watch for the submarine bearing her husband, Vernon Foli, a 3rd class electrician. She recalls the whitecaps on the harbor, and the rain that soaked her clothing and left her shivering under a dark slate sky. "It was a very cold, very dreary morning," said Lake, who remarried several years after the Scorpion sinking and now lives in Eugene, Ore. "The wind was sucking the umbrellas away." Lake, then a 23-year-old Navy wife, said she was eager to see the Scorpion return because her daughter, Holli, was approaching her first birthday and had not seen her father for three months. "It was a terrible, stormy day," recalled Theresa Bishop, wife of Torpedoman Chief Walter Bishop, the Scorpion's senior enlisted man. Years after the event, she still had vivid images of the day, such as the large tree that had fallen at the corner near her Norfolk home, where she lives today. "It had been blown over by the storm and to this day I can still picture it," she said. The week before, several families had received letters from Scorpion crewmen saying they were scheduled to return on May 24 or 25. But on May 24, Navy officials, using a recorded telephone message, informed the families the submarine would not arrive until May 27. What the families did not know as they gathered at the pier was that the Navy had launched a secret search for the sub the day before, on May 23, a search involving a dozen ships and submarines aided by land-based patrol planes. The families were not warned that something might be wrong. About three dozen family members were on the pier as the scheduled arrival time of 1 p.m. approached. Looming in the foreground was the massive silhouette of the USS Orion, the 530-foot ship that provided maintenance and logistical support to the subs. The only flash of color came from a bright red flotation boom alongside the Orion where the Scorpion would tie up, and a small number of balloons and hand-painted signs from the families to welcome their sailors home. But the signs would wilt in the rain and the space alongside the ship would remain empty. The Scorpion would never make port. None of the families waiting on the pier knew their loved ones had died five days earlier on May 22, when the Scorpion exploded and sank to the bottom of the Atlantic, killing all 99 crew members aboard. But as the families waited, senior Navy leaders already suspected the Scorpion had been lost with all on board. More than a decade later, three admirals on duty in 1968 confirmed they had mounted a secret search for the submarine. One admiral said they didn't want to unduly alarm the families without hard facts. Another official 20 years after the sinking privately acknowledged the failure to tell the families was a mistake. A Navy spokesman this week had no immediate comment on allegations the Navy had searched in secret for the submarine without notifying the Scorpion's administrative command or family members of the Scorpion crew. The arrival hour of 1 p.m. came and went with no sign of the submarine. "It was cold for that time of year," recalled Bill Elrod, a sonarman 1st class on the Scorpion who had flown home on emergency leave the week before and now waited at pierside with the family members. "I saw a bunch of the wives standing around in the rain, everybody anxious about when it was coming in." Julie Smith Ballew (who also remarried several years later) could not be at the submarine piers to greet her 22-year-old husband, Machinist's Mate 2nd Class Robert Smith. She sat with her sister, Dee Ann Wright, in a lounge at the Portsmouth Naval Hospital 10 miles away, cradling her infant daughter, Sarah, born two days earlier. They expected Robert to come straight from the base to pick them up. "If they had been on schedule (arriving May 24 as originally planned), Robert could have been here to see his daughter being born," Ballew recalled in a recent interview from her home in Wayland, Iowa, last week. "I was disappointed in that, but excited that he would be there to pick us up." None of the family members suspected anything was wrong. The Scorpion was simply late, they believed. But on the Orion, its commanding officer, Capt. James Bellah, was concerned. Serving as acting squadron commander that day, Bellah had expected to receive a routine message from the Scorpion as it surfaced off the Virginia coastline. But nothing had come in. Bellah called Atlantic Submarine Force headquarters at the fleet compound a mile away to see if anyone had heard from the Scorpion. "We got no indication there was a problem with that submarine at all," Bellah recalled. He sent an aide down to the pier to invite family members to come out of the rain, and a handful did. The rest went home to wait. Lake said she stood in the storm for several hours until, "soaked and disappointed," she decided to go home. Elrod returned to the Orion, keeping himself busy at the squadron office. Ballew and her sister gave up waiting at the hospital at 3 p.m. and drove home, passing by the submarine piers on the way. She called Jann Christiansen, the wife of Machinist's Mate 2nd Class Mark Christiansen, who told her the word was the submarine would now arrive at 8 p.m. Smith settled in to feed her newborn. By 5 p.m., Elrod left the Orion to return to his apartment where he told his wife there was no word from the Scorpion. At that point, he said, most people felt the severe weather had hampered radio communications, and the submarine would either radio in or show up anytime. "There was not a clue (anything was wrong," Elrod said. "The thing that played in everybody's minds (was) the storm was making them late." But concern over the submarine was now crackling up and down the Navy chain of command. At 3:15 p.m., the official message had gone out from the Atlantic Submarine Force declaring a "missing submarine" alert that would make banner headlines the following morning. Up and down the East Coast, Navy ships and aircraft squadrons were scrambling to launch a second, highly publicized search. The families heard of the search when a Norfolk TV station broke with a bulletin shortly after 6 p.m. "I will never forget that news broadcast," Ballew said. "I had just sat down to feed Sarah and turned on the news. The first words out of the commentator's mouth were, `Submarine Scorpion missing.'" "I was in shock," Ballew recalled. "I couldn't believe it! The Navy had been telling us all day that it would be in anytime." Theresa Bishop was washing dishes at home when her 9-year-old son, John, came in from the living room and said, "There's something on TV about the Scorpion missing." "I went totally numb," she recalled. "Nobody said anything. We just sat around waiting for the telephone to ring" with some Navy official offering an explanation. Ninety minutes later a Navy official called to confirm what the TV reports had disclosed, she said. Friends and neighbors began arriving at the Bishop home for the first of many long nights of watching and waiting. Bishop said her last memory of that Memorial Day evening was the distant sound of sirens and alarms emitted from dozens of Norfolk warships as they began moving out on the open search for the Scorpion. Even then, some family members described their mood as concerned and anxious but still hopeful, a mood fostered by the ambiguous information they were getting from the Atlantic Submarine Force. "They were continuing the hope that they (the Scorpion crew) were delayed by the bad weather," Ballew remembers being told. "I went to bed that night praying the morning would bring news that they were back safely." The news of the search spread rapidly throughout the nation. In Bellmore, N.Y., Adrian Christiansen, Mark's mother, answered the phone. It was her daughter-in-law Jann Christiansen, informing her that the Scorpion was long overdue. Vernon and Sybil Stone, parents of Machinist's Mate 2nd Class David Stone, were eating dinner in their Ames, Iowa, home, when his brother called from New Jersey with the news of the Scorpion alert. They called an emergency Navy number where someone confirmed the sub was missing. Elrod said he knew in his gut the Scorpion had sunk from the moment news of the Scorpion search broke. "They (the Navy) never announced anything like that if the boat was merely out of touch," he said. "I knew the boat was gone." For the next nine days, Bishop recalled, she and the Scorpion families remained "stuck in limbo." Hopes faded as search teams scoured the Atlantic without detecting a clue. Finally, on June 5, the Navy formally declared the Scorpion and its crew lost at sea and presumed dead. By then, most of the families had braced for the bad news, several relatives said. "We were just numb by then," said Dorothy Little, whose younger brother, Richard Summers, was a 3rd class yeoman on the Scorpion. "It was not a complete shock when they announced it," she recalled in an interview from her Statesville, N.C. home. A memorial service the next day for the crew in Norfolk attracted hundreds of family members and fellow submariners, who heard the Navy's senior chaplain try to console them. "For the ninety and nine whom we mourn today, there has been no deliverance from the deep," Rear Adm. James Kelly said. "The separation of deployment has lengthened into the separation of death." On Oct. 31, five months after the sinking, the Navy announced the wreckage of the sub had been found. Except for several small pieces of metal debris recovered, the Scorpion was left where it rested, its crew entombed inside the steel hull that had been their home at sea. Most family members interviewed say they are generally satisfied with the way Navy officials kept them informed as a Court of Inquiry held its hearings and concluded that the Scorpion sank because of an unknown mechanical malfunction. But today, 30 years after the tragedy, many family members -- even those who agreed with the secrets inherent in the submarine force and its Cold War operations -- say the time is ripe to get the full story of what happened to the Scorpion. Others prefer to let the matter rest. Barbara Foli Lake said she never believed the official Navy account that the sinking was because of an unknown mechanical malfunction. John Bishop, 9 years old in 1968, later joined the Navy and has served a career in the submarine force like his father, Chief Walter Bishop. "I've given nearly 20 years of my life to the submarine service, blood and bone marrow," he said. "I want to know what happened to my father. I want closure." Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:10:26 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=20 Q. What is a dining in? A dining in is a formal dinner often held to honor a departing individual or welcome a new one. With the exception of military women, it is a men-only event. Both of these links offer excellent information about what the service member should expect to occur at the dining in. The first reference is from the BUPERS site, and refers to the Officer dining in; the second reference site gives detailed information for the Chief Petty Officer dining in. http://www.bupers.navy.mil/pers9/diningout/general%5Finfo.htm http://goatlocker.exis.net/dine_in.htm ************************************************************************** Q. What is the proper attire for a dining in? If you are a civilian guest at a dining in, the dress code is black tie or whatever is indicated on your invitation. For service members the required uniform will vary according to branch of service and rank of service members. The invitation should state which uniform is to be worn. For example, for Officers it may be suggested that active duty Navy O-4 (Lieutenant Commander) and above wear the dinner dress white jacket during summer months, and the dinner dress blue jacket in the winter. Navy O-3 (Lieutenant) and below wear the dinner dress whites in summertime and dinner dress blues in the winter months. Photo examples of each can be found in the uniform regs, chapter 3 section 2. For Navy senior Enlisted, the uniform equivalent of black tie is the dinner dress whites during the summer, and dinner dress blues during the winter. Examples of these uniforms can be found in the uniform regs, chapter 3 section 3. Retirees attending a dining in will wear the uniform and ribbons of their last rank before retirement. Navy uniform regulations can be found online at http://www.bupers.navy.mil/uniform/uniform.html. You will need a pdf file viewer to be able to read the manual online, or there is a link to order a CD-rom of the regulations manual. This site also has information on placement of ribbons and medals, and a ribbon checker to verify which ones the service member is qualified to wear. ****************************************************************************** Q. How is a dining out different from the dining in? A dining out will be similar to the dining in with the exception that female guests (wives and girlfriends) are invited. The order of events and dress code for the service member is the same as for the dining in. As a female guest at a dining in, the suggested attire is formal wear, much like with a Submarine Ball. A knee-length cocktail dress or similar evening wear would be appropriate to where when attending such an event. ********************************************************************** Q. What are the origins of the Submarine Ball? On April 11, 1900, the U.S. Navy purchased the Holland VI, an internal combustion gasoline-powered submarine, from John Holland. Each year, to commemorate the official birthdate of the U.S. Submarine force, Submarine bases around the United States will hold a ball. While there are usually separate Balls each for the Officers and Enlisted personnel, in honor of the Submarine Centennial in 2000 many bases held a joint Officer and Enlisted Ball. *********************************************************************** Q. What is the dress code for the Submarine Ball? Since the Submarine Ball is most commonly held in April, Enlisted E-6 and below wear their service dress blue. If the Ball is being held in a warmer climate, or after the transition to whites, the uniform is service dress white. Examples of each can be found in the uniform regs, chapter 3 section 4. For senior Enlisted, the uniform to wear during the winter months is the service dress blue, and during the summer it is the service dress white. Examples of these uniforms can be found in the uniform regs, chapter 3 section 3. The dress code for Officers is the service dress blue during winter months, and the service dress white during the summer or in warmer climates. Photo examples of each can be found in the uniform regs, chapter 3 section 2. The above listed uniforms are the equivalent of suit and tie for civilians. These are the minimum suggested uniforms to wear for the Ball, and service members may choose to wear the more formal versions. For female guests of the Submariner, a knee-length cocktail dress or similar formal wear is often the preferred attire for the evening. ************************************************************************** Q. What events should I expect at a Sub Ball? The Submarine Birthday Ball usually starts with a social hour, followed by dinner and the program for the evening. At many bases, the most memorable part of the night is the "Tolling of the Bells", a solemn ceremony to honor lost boats and the Submariners on Eternal Patrol. A brief history of each lost boat is read, then the date of the loss and number of souls that perished is given. A candle lit in honor of that boat is extinguished, followed by a toll of the bell for that boat. At the end Information from the SWC Advice Line; 1999-2004 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:09:07 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=19 I’ve been asked what I enjoy about my husband’s naval career more than I can count, but no matter how many times the question comes up, my answer remains the same “I really enjoy moving around and getting to know new people in each place.” It’s true. While there are many ups and downs to this lifestyle, what I love about being married to a Navy man is the fact that we get to see a lot of country and a lot of the world as well. Meeting all sorts of new people is just the icing on the cake. Even though I’m so fond of moving and greet every new person with a smile, it’s hard to find real friends at each new place. The meeting part? That’s easy. The getting –to-know-you part? That takes some work. No one will ever deny the fact that military life can be lonely. But why should we allow ourselves to intentionally make it that way? Certainly, being away from familiar faces can leave us feeling pretty low at times, but we must remember that we’re all in the same boat (pardon the pun). When it comes to military life, there’s nothing better than a military family – the kind where your friends are your family. These are the people who REALLY know what you’re going through. The sleepless nights. The tedious wait for email. The sound of your spouse saying, “Hey. It’s me,” over the phone for the first time in months. The feeling of having a bad day and no one to talk to, etc. Face it - we’ve ALL been there, and even when you think you’re alone, you’re not. Someone near you is feeling the same way. But how do you bridge the gap? One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you can’t make new friends if you keep your door closed. That means a few things 1) You have to get out of the house, and 2) You have to invite people in. So what are some ways to get out there and meet new people while working on the process of making friends? Here are some ideas. The first list contains just a few ways to get out the door, while the second lists has a few ideas to let people in. Getting out the door - Family Readiness Group. Get support from women who are experiencing the same things that you are. - Volunteer. What better way to meet new people than by helping them? - Play groups. Calling all mommies! Get some much needed adult time while your kids play. - Church. Many churches have programs for new members. - Work. Chatting with fellow employees is always good! Sure, they may not be military friends but that’s okay! - Moms’ Clubs. Moms’ nights out trips are wonderful treats! - The Gym. Take some classes and meet new faces. Letting people in - Monthly book club. Read a new book each month, discuss, laugh, eat, you name it! - Game night. Bring out your competitive side! - Breakfast/Dessert club. Invite everyone to bring breakfast oriented dishes or desserts. - Cookie swap. Need to bring treats to a meeting, work, or school? Why not swap recipes with some friends? - Sip & Chat. Invite some ladies over and sip on some coffee (or whatever other beverage you prefer) while indulging in some girl talk. - Crafts. Scrapbooking, card making, quilting, you name it. - Wine tasting. Break open some bottles and serve some good cheese! - Football parties. Cheer for your favorite team. - Barbecues. Nothing says relaxation like good food and good friends. - Holiday parties. Celebrate all holidays with your military family. There’s no better way to get the “making new friends” process underway than by simply using your front door. If you take the chance and venture on out, I’m willing to bet that others will take you up on the invitation to “come on in.” written by Emily A., 2007 Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:17:23 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=18 Submitted by Karen Dear Military Wife, I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news. I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for. I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband. I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so. I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand. I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home. I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with. And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting. For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes. What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes. I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America. You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American. I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment. Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me. Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you. Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today. You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday. I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom. I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten. You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely. May God Bless You! *Author Unknown* Tue, 09 May 2006 22:09:36 GMT http://submarinewivesclub.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=17 This poem is dedicated to my husband. I am a Navy Chief's wife, always walking two steps behind. Never wearing his anchors, Never stripping his pride. Always supportive, Always kind. Never asking Why; For I am now and always will be, proud to be a Navy Chief\'s Wife. Michelle Lint Sun, 19 Mar 2006 06:50:56 GMT